I can’t sleep again….it’s 6 a.m. and i’m exhausted physically and mentally and yet I can’t fall asleep. I’m feeling especially emotional today and I don’t know why either. I didn’t want to go to the bar. But I went and I had a good time yet somehow i’m still feeling miserable. I have so many emotions coursing through me right now and I feel like I couldn’t even begin describe how i’m actually feeling….
Hollow
Miserable
Suffocating
Drowning
This barely even begins to describe what i’m feeling. I literally feel like shit and I think it’s time for me to retreat into my shell again. I don’t want to inflict what i’m feeling on others. I don’t wish to make them feel how I feel and i’m tired of putting up a false pretense. I just want to be alone and miserable. Yet I can’t stop with this facade. I’ve been doing it for so long that I don’t even know how to switch it off. Wtf am I going to do? I’m fucking drowning here and there’s no fucking silver lining. Nothing I have nothing…
I just want to go back to the beginning.
I want to feel something other than what i’m feeling now.
I just want it to end already…
