May-ra

13th October 2009

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Another sleepless night

It’s 4 a.m. and I can’t seem to fall asleep.

“I could follow you to the beginning
And just relive the start
And maybe then we’ll remember to slow down
To all of our favorite parts”

I can’t get this song out of my head particularly this verse. I remember laying on the floor in my room. We were facing each other and we were talking about different things. His arm was sprawled out towards me and I was using it as a pillow. As the night wore on we were getting drowsier and we eventually fell asleep facing each other. I can still remember the way his skin felt when my face was pressed up against his chest I remember feeling safe… and in that moment I thought that I couldn’t be any happier. This is the memory that I always want to relive when I think of him. When I think back on other countless memories I had with him only one other memory stands out as vividly. Were in his car talking and it feels like we’ve been in his car forever. I’m scratching his head and i’m laying my head on his shoulder. Once again I feel like i’m consumed by him by everything about him. And i’m so damn comfortable being with him. I look at him and he starts to gently brush my hair out of face and behind my ear. He gently strokes my cheek and I look up at him and he’s staring at me with this intense look and it’s filled with so much emotion. And it feels like he can see through me like he’s staring straight into my soul. The tension grew to be too great for me and I looked away and laid my head back on his shoulder. What was he trying to tell me? That shouldn’t matter anymore…these memories shouldn’t matter. Good or bad I always end up feeling the same in the end.

“All I wanted was you”